Ordering for a woman on a first date seems the way to go, especially if you’re short on cash but you should reconsider doing so for a number of reasons.
As a man who considers himself a gentleman, you have no choice than to stick to chivalry sometimes. Basic etiquette such as holding doors open, pulling seats out for your date, putting your phone away, chewing with your mouth open or even eating like a glutton is something you wouldn’t want to do.
And on top of all these, if you consider yourself a gentleman, you shouldn’t be allowing your dates pay for their food or drinks on the first date.
Certain things are sacrosanct and are the basic tenets of respect. Paying for the meal of your date doesn’t mean you’re doing so because she doesn’t have the money to pay or because you’re expecting something for doing so.
It should be because you want to show her how grateful you are for her company. More so, pulling out her chair for her or holding the door for her to pass through is not because she can’t do it herself, but because you want her to feel special and know that you’re a man that pays attention when she’s out with you.
One thing that is however difficult to understand is the part where some men order the meals for their date. It is difficult to see anything respectful in that (except she asks you to).
As a matter of fact, it can be misconstrued as a superiority thing where you’re trying to exert power by telling her “You’re going to eat whatever I tell you to eat”. Here are a number of things you can do in the alternative.
Ask Before Ordering
While this may seem crazy, it’s best for you to politely ask what she wants while on the date before placing an order (especially if it’s the first date).
Whatever she chooses, you can add a couple of ideas to it and help her find the best options.
If you’re however on a second or third date, there’s a chance you already know what she likes and that way, you can impress her with a suggestion or two during the course of the date. Whatever the case may be, don’t be overbearing.
Go Through The Available Together
If you’re on a first date with her, this is usually the best course to follow. At a restaurant, talking about menus together with your date can form a suitable conservation, especially if you’re nervous or have little idea as to what to talk about.
“Oh, what kind of food is that?” “Oh, have you ever tried this?” “This has an interesting name, I hope it tastes as good as it sounds?!”
All the above are good conservation pieces when you have a look at the menu with her. You should however remember not to talk too much during the chit chat.
Keep Shut And Allow Her Do Her Thing
The truth is irrespective of how versed and knowledgeable you may be, the person seated across the table from you has her own tastes and preferences, and if you allow her, she most likely will come up with something she likes and enjoys.
You can stick to deciding your own meal and allow her come up with hers and you both can talk about it afterwards.
Whatever you decide to do, anything is better than being that overbearing guy. Don’t be that guy.